Jesus Problems
↓ Transcript
PANEL ONE: Jesus knocks over a glass of wine.
JESUS: Here, let me--
JESUS: oops
PANEL TWO: Jesus has enters the tomb of Lazarus.
JESUS: Okay, so I'm going to resurrect this guy to symbolize the--
PANEL THREE: Jesus lays hands on him and Lazarus EXPLODES.
JESUS: WAUGH
PANEL FOUR: Jesus preaches to the people.
JESUS: So then the Lord will put the SHEEP on his left, and the GOATS on his right--
JESUS: And the... wait, hold on--
PANEL FIVE: Close on Jesus looking at his hands, trying to figure this out.
JESUS: -- I -- are they getting placed on MY left, or his?
JESUS: If he's FACING you, then it should be -- no, no just a sec.
DISCIPLE: I GET IT!
PANEL SIX: The Disciple has this shit figured out.
DISCIPLE: WE HAVE TO BE GOATS!
DISCIPLE:QUICK, SIN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!
JESUS: Wait, what?! No--
PANEL SEVEN: A full blown riot breaks out. Jesus is really embarrassed.
PANEL EIGHT: Jesus tries to cut a tapestry with scissors.
THE STORY
OF
LEFT-HANDED JESUS
JESUS: dangit
JESUS: Here, let me--
JESUS: oops
PANEL TWO: Jesus has enters the tomb of Lazarus.
JESUS: Okay, so I'm going to resurrect this guy to symbolize the--
PANEL THREE: Jesus lays hands on him and Lazarus EXPLODES.
JESUS: WAUGH
PANEL FOUR: Jesus preaches to the people.
JESUS: So then the Lord will put the SHEEP on his left, and the GOATS on his right--
JESUS: And the... wait, hold on--
PANEL FIVE: Close on Jesus looking at his hands, trying to figure this out.
JESUS: -- I -- are they getting placed on MY left, or his?
JESUS: If he's FACING you, then it should be -- no, no just a sec.
DISCIPLE: I GET IT!
PANEL SIX: The Disciple has this shit figured out.
DISCIPLE: WE HAVE TO BE GOATS!
DISCIPLE:QUICK, SIN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!
JESUS: Wait, what?! No--
PANEL SEVEN: A full blown riot breaks out. Jesus is really embarrassed.
PANEL EIGHT: Jesus tries to cut a tapestry with scissors.
THE STORY
OF
LEFT-HANDED JESUS
JESUS: dangit
Discussion ¬