Office Raccoon, in: Team Player!
↓ Transcript
OFFICE RACCOON 2: DARK SIDE OF THE TRASH CAN
PANEL ONE: Scott is on the phone at his desk. He reaches toward one of the drawers in his desk.
SCOTT: Yes, that’s right. Just lemme grab the prospectus--
PANEL TWO: Scott rears back startled as OFFICE RACCOON lunges out of his drawer!
OFFICE RACOON: HISS
SCOTT: AAAAH!
PANEL THREE: OFFICE RACOON dashes away with the prospectus between his teeth!
SCOTT: HEY!
SCOTT: I NEED THAT! GET BACK HERE!
PANEL FOUR: Closer on Scott. Liz leans over the cubicle to see what is going on.
SCOTT: why would you do that
SCOTT: you’re a raccoon
SCOTT: raccoons do not need prospectuses
PANEL FIVE: The BOSS kneels down and yanks the prospectus away from Office Raccoon, who was about to carry it through a hole in the wall.
BOSS: Hey, what's that in your mouth? Lemme see that!
BOSS: Is that thee prospectus Scott was supposed to finish?!
PANEL SIX: The boss holds up the tattered document. OFFICE RACCOON clearly wants it back.
BOSS: Great work, little guy! You get a raise!
OFFICE RACCOON: HHNNR! HNKSNRK!
BOSS: Okay, two raises!
PANEL ONE: Scott is on the phone at his desk. He reaches toward one of the drawers in his desk.
SCOTT: Yes, that’s right. Just lemme grab the prospectus--
PANEL TWO: Scott rears back startled as OFFICE RACCOON lunges out of his drawer!
OFFICE RACOON: HISS
SCOTT: AAAAH!
PANEL THREE: OFFICE RACOON dashes away with the prospectus between his teeth!
SCOTT: HEY!
SCOTT: I NEED THAT! GET BACK HERE!
PANEL FOUR: Closer on Scott. Liz leans over the cubicle to see what is going on.
SCOTT: why would you do that
SCOTT: you’re a raccoon
SCOTT: raccoons do not need prospectuses
PANEL FIVE: The BOSS kneels down and yanks the prospectus away from Office Raccoon, who was about to carry it through a hole in the wall.
BOSS: Hey, what's that in your mouth? Lemme see that!
BOSS: Is that thee prospectus Scott was supposed to finish?!
PANEL SIX: The boss holds up the tattered document. OFFICE RACCOON clearly wants it back.
BOSS: Great work, little guy! You get a raise!
OFFICE RACCOON: HHNNR! HNKSNRK!
BOSS: Okay, two raises!
I guess the problem I have here is the lack of realism. I mean, a boss can’t just go around calling his employees “little guy”. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
My CEO once called me a “struggling artist” in front of a documentary crew. Pretty sure that was way more insulting than “little guy”.