pizza gun comics

PANEL ONE: Beside a window in stately Wayne Manor, brooding billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne and his loyal butler Alfred are brainstorming on the subject of how best to fight crime.

ALFRED: --or how about a bat, sir? I understand criminals to be a superstitious and cowardly lot...
BRUCE: NO, ALFRED!
BRUCE: My decision is final! I've already chosen my costume and everything!

PANEL TWO: Bruce crosses his arm in stubborn opposition.

ALFRED: But sir--
BRUCE: NNO
ALFRED: I just think a bat would--
BRUCE: DON' WANNA BE NO DUMB OL' BAT
ALFRED: Ah, well, what if we COMBINED the two?

PANEL THREE: Princess Batman stands in the Princess Batcave, which is exactly like the regular Batcave except it has a BADASS THRONE and loyal subjects bowing before him.

SUBJECTS: HAIL PRINCESS BATMAN!
PRINCESS BATMAN: HELL YES

PANEL FOUR: At a lovely tea party, Princess Batman takes on a gang of thugs!
THUG 1: IT'S HER MAJESTY DA BAT!
THUG 2: I IS AT ONCE TERRIFIED AN' ENCHANTED!

PANEL FIVE: Princess Batman prepares to beat the shit out of the joker with his royal bat-scepter.

PRINCESS BATMAN: JOKERRR!
JOKER: Wait, WAIT!
PRINCESS BATMAN: WHAT?!
JOKER: I was wondering...

PANEL SIX: Close on the Joker, who is genuinely confused.

JOKER: It's just, if your parents are dead...
JOKER: Shouldn't you be QUEEN Batman?

PANEL SEVEN: Princess Batman thinks about it.

PANEL EIGHT: Princess Batman punches the fuck out of the Joker.

SFX: BOPPO!

PANEL NINE: Back in the Batpalace, Alfred is coronating a pouty Bruce.

ALFRED: There there, Your Majesty
ALFRED: I'm sure Being queen will be nice too
QUEEN BATMAN: IT’S NOT THE SAME!